Today I'll be attending my 3rd funeral in the last 10 days. I just want to offer a short suggestion to my preacher friends. Death stinks. Do not try to make a funeral some sort of celebration of life.
I learned this lesson a couple of years ago when I had to bury my mom. Few people had more love for life than my mom. She was about as giving and loving as any I've ever seen. Her death created a huge void in our family.
When we had to bury her it hurt...bad. I didn't want to celebrate her life, I wanted my mom back. I know that was an impossible request, but that's all I wanted nonetheless.
Every family you will have to minister to, is in this same boat. They are extremely damaged. They are not in the shape to celebrate anything and we as preachers shouldn't be foolish enough to expect it if them. Leave the hyper-spirituality for the fairy tale world. Those who are having to bury a loved one are hurting. Death (our great enemy) has taking away one who is dear to their heart.
Love them. Help them any way you can. Pray for and with them. Preach Jesus.
12 Days (Day 12)
8 years ago
1 comment:
I thought I had compassion for families for which I did funerals - until my mom died (2003). When Dad (2008) died, I learned again how important it was to feel with them their huge loss. Now I pray with them, but do less talking. If they want to talk, good. If they are quiet, I've learned to be quiet. Trite phrases like celebrate their life do more harm than good.
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