Huntin with the Cuzzes

During the Christmas break, all of the clan was blessed to be able to get together and enjoy some good fellowship. We have a good family with plenty of love. One evening, Uncle Cooney and Cindy's two boys Parker(8) and Peyton(5) came over to go hunting with Umpie Mike (that's what TaTa (Taylor)called me when she was a baby, and it stuck).

So here we go. Me, Hayden, Hunter, Parker and Peyton all start walking toward the stand. As we walked by the pond and started to near the woods, Peyton started to cry. I asked him what was wrong and he simply said, "I want my daddy". Now why anyone would feel comforted by the presence of Cooney leaves me scratching my head, but hey, this is the boy's daddy. So I told Peyton that his daddy wasn't here, and I asked again about what was bothering him. He then explained to me that he was afraid of the woods. He told me, "There might be a King Cobra in there".

While I am trying to reassure him that everything was going to be fine, the other 3 boys shifted into counseling mode and started to help me out. Or so they thought! One tells Peyton, "There ain't no King Cobras. Just rattlesnakes and copperheads". Another chimes in, "There ain't no King Cobras, just rabbits, and deer, and bear". I highly recommend staying away from these boys if your ever standing on the edge of a bridge.

Finally, I am able to calm Peyton down. Not only did I convince him that my gun could take care of any King Cobras, but it could also take care of rattlesnakes, copperheads and bear.

We make it to the stand and all climb in. It was a little crowded, but not all that bad.

One thing I haven't mentioned, is that before we left the house I gave every boy a flashlight. I figured this would make each boy feel a little more comfortable walking home if it had gotten a little dark. I had no idea the flashlights would be the focal point of the hunt.

Now I don't know what it is in the male constitution that draws him to flashlights, but it is real. Men like flashlights. Boys like flashlights. We can't have too many. And they can't be too bright. Some believe a male's self-worth is measured by the brightness of his flashlight. If you don't believe it try this...give two men flashlights and I guarantee you they will see whose is brighter. See what I mean.

So here we sit. 1 man. 4 boys. 5 flashlights. All inside a 4 x 8 boxstand...8 foot off the ground. As the sun set, and daylight faded it must have looked like...Well. Did you ever see Close Encounters of the Third Kind? Do you remember the space ship with all of the lights flashing from every opening and portal?

Surely the wildlife behind my house felt as though they had been invaded by something from beyond our realm. They had never seen anything like this. Lights flashing. Condominium shaking. Whispered giggling. Repeated funneling.

Oh, just in case your wondering...we didn't see a deer.

Peace

Everyone from young children to Miss America contestants want world peace. I reckon that its not too bad of a desire. But, is world peace high on the Lord's current list of priorities? Some will be quick to rebut, quoting the Biblical record of the heavenly host' proclamation. The Bible declares...

Luke 2:8-14 8 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. 9 And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. 10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. 11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. 12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. 13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, 14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

What should be noticed is that the heavenly host did not proclaim peace among men, but peace, goodwill toward men. This is peace and goodwill being extended from God toward men in the form of His Son, Jesus.

Consider also the words of Jesus.

Luke 12:51-53 51 Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division: 52 For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three. 53 The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

Learn From Wise Men

Matthew 2:9-11
9 When they had heard the king, they departed; and, lo, the star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was. 10 When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy. 11 And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh.

Very simple lesson...When the wise men had reached their destination, they rejoiced.

When they came into the presence of Jesus, they worshipped...there is a difference!

Clues to Help Redneck Readers Take a Quiz

Let's see if this helps.

Bubba = Giant Corporations who have mismanaged their business. I.E. Banks, Lending Institutions and Auto Manufacturers.
Jim Bob = American Taxpayer
Rosco = Federal Government
Leroy = IRS

What Do You Think?

When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane did He fear what lied ahead of Him? If not, what did He feel, and what did His words mean?

Redneck Quiz

Bubba has a double-wide. Jim Bob has a single-wide. Bubba's been cooking chitlins. But now he is chasing Daisy (his girlfriend)round the pickup and forgets to turn the burner off. He burns his double-wide to the ground. Jim Bob wishes he could help Bubba, but its all he can do to make the payments on his single-wide. So Rosco, Bubba's buddy, gets Leroy to take money away from Jim Bob so Bubba can get back on his feet.

Who's the sorry dog Redneck? And why?

What Has Entered My Nose?

I'm sitting here eating Fritos Corn Chips. Anyone ever noticed how your dog sometimes smells like Fritos?

Please Don't Cry!!!

Yesterday, Dec. 8, 2008, my youngest son, Hunter, wanted to go hunting. My brain was exhausted from a draining day at school, but since Hayden had just recently killed his first deer, I figured little brother deserved his chance. But there is one glitch, Kim is not home, she is shopping in Shreveport. This is only a problem if Hayden doesn't want to go hunting with us. If Hayden doesn't want to go, we can't go. Inside, because of my being tired, I am quietly hoping he will say no. Hunter is excited. He is already getting ready. So I ask Hayden if he wants to go (Please say no. Please say no). He says yes. Man, my only excuse blown away. So we all get ready and walk to the woods (or forest as Hunter calls it).

The wind had been blowing hard all day and when we settled into the condo/deerstand, it hadn't let up. About 15 mph out of the south. All 3 of us got comfortable in our chairs. Hayden is sitting there writing a report for school. Hunter wants to hold the gun so he can look through the scope. I'm tired.

Hunter can't sit in his chair and have the necessary height needed to view the shooting lane through the scope. Here we go again. Numb legs. So I let him get on my lap and look through the scope. To the wildlife in the area it must have been an unusual site. The black piece of steel protruding from the hole in the big box. The barrel of the gun would have been practically unnoticeable if it hadn't been moving. And boy do I mean moving.

I'm not exactly sure what all he laid the cross hairs on, but I know that sometimes it was almost under the stand, then it would be straight up in the air, then to the left, then the right. Sometimes the barrel of that 243 was moving so fast it looked flexible (remember shaking the pencil in your hand so fast it looked like rubber). I tried to encourage him to be still, but at the same time if he doesn't kill anything I don't have to clean it. So shake it Hunter, Shake it.

Since the wind is blowing steady out of the south, I am focusing most of my attention toward the north. Remember the old rule of deer walking into the wind, not with it. It's about 5:00. Hayden has finished his report and he is now an extra set of eyes to try and spot the deer before they spot the rubber barrel sticking out of the side of the stand. And the wind. What a nightmare. To Hunter, every leaf that hit the ground was a deer.

Out of nowhere, Hayden whispers quietly but firmly,"Deer, Dad, Deer". And sure enough, standing right in the middle of our shooting lane is a deer. He is eating our corn, with his face away from us, and his posterior facing us. I grab the earmuffs and put them on Hunter. I look over at Hayden, and he has already put his earmuffs on, has them covered with his hands, and is crouched down as though someone has just hollered, "INCOMING".

I had been very adamant with the boys about taking only "good shots". We had repeatedly gone over where to aim. But this deer is not moving. All we see is butt. So I lean up to Hunter's ear and whisper, "I'm going to whistle at him. He will turn. Then you shoot him". He turns enough so that I can hear him whisper. He says "Sir?" So again I said, "I'm going to whistle at him. He will turn. Then you shoot him". He nodded. So I whistled. The deer turned. The gun went bang.

50 Yards. Broadside. The deer dropped in his tracks. As soon as he did, I ripped the earmuffs off of Hunter's head and said "You did it. You did it. You shot your first deer!" I gave him a high-five. Then things quickly changed. Hunter is looking through the opening in the stand and tears start to form in his eyes. He sees the deer still flopping somewhat. He's obviously in his latter stages of life, but this is Hunter's first time to see such a sight. I'm thinking "Great, I'm raising PETA boys". So we climb out of the stand. The deer is dead, but we go ahead and walk back to the house to get the four-wheeler before we walk over to the deer.

Great shot. Both lungs. A button buck. We come back and Hayden helps me drag the deer out to the four-wheeler. I ask Hunter if he wanted to help, it was then he informed me he didn't like to get blood from other "creatures" on him. So we take our pictures, and clean the deer. Finally, I figured it was time to talk to Hunter about his emotional display in the stand. I have heard of a lot of kids who feel guilty after they have killed something, so I figured he was just another one of the many. So I ask him, "Hunter, after you shot the deer, you saw the deer still moving, and it looked like you were fixing to cry. What was wrong?" He said, "Dad, when I saw him start moving, I thought he was going to get away." You know what, that's made many grown men cry.

Who Knew?

I started blogging at the behest of my junior brother-in-law. I jumped in with both feet and invested many valuable brain cells in an attempt to educated the throngs from the storehouse of knowledge resting atop my neck. My postings have been in-depth considerations of a myriad of subjects worthy of my effort and time. So I pondered and typed. I deliberated and typed. I waged on through my oft debilitating handicap with which I am cursed (a wondering mind). So I posted and waited. And waited. And then, someone would not only read my blog, but they would display great courage and respond. But for the most part, one maybe two responses per post. What a failure I have been.

I had no idea that a one sentence question would be the key to unlock the keyboards of my readers. I have grabbed the brass ring Cooney set before me. I have rekindled the fires of Camp's smoker's pit. I did it Cooney. I did it!!!

Just Wandering

Is it appropriate for preachers, Men of God, to be running around in shorts?