Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Enviromentalist Toe-Jam

I know. The title it, well...it just sounds gross. Just humor me.

A couple of weeks ago I decided to take my boat to the lake. It has been a few months since I had run it, so I figured she was tired of sitting there, and I didn't want nautical arthritis to set in on her bow.

You see, gasoline engines need to be run from time to time. They were designed for that purpose. They were not built as residential complexes for the less-than-desirable creatures of the animal kingdom. I promise you this, you would not make a pet of anything you'll find living in an idle piece of equipment which once served as a mode of transportation. (Unless, you happen to find some perverted pleasure in walking your pet rat or cockroach).

So I charge-up the batteries and take Ole' Betsy to the lake. She fires right up and purrs like a kitten with a milk mustache. I make a few laps around the lake and start to bring her in to let her rest and then...she dies.

My motor is an old one. A 1979 115hp Mercury. The "Tower of Power". I like an old motor. No computer. No multitude of sensors. Just fire and gas. So, if the motor quits running, you have lost either your fuel supply or your spark needed for combustion. It's really about that simple.

So, I look at my clear-view inline fuel filter, and I see this "stuff". This "stuff" has clogged my filter and is preventing fuel from getting to the motor. But this foreign material is unlike any I have seen before. It is not the usual accumulation of loose dirt particles, it is a translucent, gooey looking blob.

I am able to get back to the ramp and load the boat, but the real fun has just begun. Now, I start my trek to world's unknown to discover the origin of the UGOS (Unidentified Gooey Object or Stuff).

With relative ease, I accomplish my mission. Because of a dual mission (protection of the environment and energy independence) some egg-head invented "gasoline" made from grain products, primarily corn. This miracle fuel is called Ethanol. This is not new, but re surged with higher fuel costs. It is an alcohol-like liquid which is used as a subsidizer in gasoline. It is not used to enhance the performance of the fuel, but rather as a filler. But Ethanol has many drawbacks. One of which, is the damage it can do to some types of plastics and fiber glasses (such as the fuel tank in my boat). It "eats away" at these materials and forms a jelly-like substance which is extremely harmful to fuel systems.

By law, in La. anyway, gas pumps which are pumping Ethanol "enhanced" fuels (usually at a ratio of 10%) must be clearly marked as such. So I guess I must have been jelly-filled for pumping the mess in my boat. But I do lay claim to ignorance.

So, my intent of giving Ole' Betsy a good day of exercise ended with my having to clean a bunch of "environmentalist toe-jam" out of her system. Thanks Sierra Club!

3 comments:

JamesCharles said...

Brother Mike... I'm not a tree hugger. I told you that the IHOP logo I made stands for I Hug Old People, not trees. IHOP simply b/c noone else will.

Arch Bishop said...

The toe-jam made me think of a trip to the nursing home about a5 years ago. I shook a man's left hand because he had his right hand wrapped up. What's wrong with your hand, I asked. He said, I've got the toe rot. He help up his other hand (the one I shook) and said, I think I've got it over here, too.

StockwellMBC said...

What did you say when he said that?

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