Recently, much mention has been made of my family. Most of the attention has been focused on the relationships between three men...myself, Bro. Michael Reese and Bro. Jason Hebert.
For the benefit of those who are ignorant, all three of us are Pastors of Missionary Baptist Churches. Michael married my sister, Karen. Karen is the middle child in our family and as such, she claims irreparable damage. She was lost in the middle.
Karen...Poor Karen. Middle Child Syndrome. Michael married her knowing she had this problem. So I am forever indebted to him for his willingness to take on the responsibility of caring for one who has an issue for which there is no cure.
Jason married Cindy. Cindy is the youngest of us kids. The baby. You know what a commitment a baby is. They need an extra dose of love and care. I will always be thankful for Jason's extra helpings of love and care he doses out toward her.
Often the entire crew makes road trips together. All 13 of us. These trips are usually to the national ABA meeting. These trips are not for the faint of heart. We have saved a life on the concrete of I-20 (literally), had van problems in the Guadalupe Mountains, made repairs in the parking lots of El Paso, searched for tire shops in the boondocks of Alabama, been broke down in Daytona, been on the wrong side of town in Kansas City and suffered through an attack of the scours which demanded stops at every exit.
But the good stuff is found in the relationships between myself(the Navigator), Michael(the Driver) and Jason(the Chef).
As the Navigator, I line out the itinerary for our cross country excursions. I am Good. I know exactly what time we will arrive at our destination. I set allotted times for rest breaks and meals. You must train your bladder to function according to my itinerary. Unscheduled "potty" breaks are unacceptable.
Michael Reese is our primary driver. After we get him "booted up" (getting his mind focused to the task at hand) he does quite well. We do have occasional trouble with his hard drive going into hibernation. As a result, you can be guaranteed at least one u-turn during every trip.
Jason Hebert is our chef. Although he never actually cooks anything on our trips, he is the one who plans our meals. He is probably more diligent about his responsibilities than anyone else. Before he has swallowed the last bite of food on his plate, he is already discussing what eating establishment will be our next destination.
One might ask, "What do the wives do?" I'll answer that question as soon as my wife quits yelling at me.
12 Days (Day 12)
8 years ago
5 comments:
So that makes you the oldest...? I don't know which one is worse for Karen, being the middle child or having you for a brother.
btw... We need a navigator for our church camp trips, I don't know how we make it there and back without killing someone or each other.
A chef that doesn't cook... does that mean he is a Master Chef?
I don't know how I have managed to miss this post...Cindy read it last night and laughed out loud. It is hard to believe the troubles and situations we have had on our trips...Mike failed to mention the GPS unit or GPS units (if Reese brings his) that we have in the van. On the GPS we track our average speed and those bathroom breaks knock our speed way down.
So...does the navigator plan the trip in such a way that it forces the chef to pick certain restaurants. Hmmm...I think we all know who is in control here.
But the Driver always has the last word!
Of course The Chef usually picks the places that lead to the entertaining flatulence contest later on down the road (not entertaining to the ladies in the van, unless they compete also)!
And if our avg. speed (according to the GPS) falls to 59.1 MPH (our goal is 60.0) it is usually because Uncle Coonie forgot to take his mineral oil.
And if all of the family enters the restaurant and realizes Reese is still in the van for some reason, (they think I'm bootin up the hard drive or changing the program) but all I'm doing is figuring our lastest avg. fuel mileage. Somebody has to keep up with stuff like that!
And what about prayer! Somebody has to be prayin, we got our kids running all over that church van (because we took the last two seats out). Our kids are pile drivin each other, and body slammin off the top rope... so when I get to the restaurant and they go in and I'm still in the van by myself, I'm just thanking the Good Lord that we've made this far!!!!
We really do have a good time!!
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